By Rev. Merlyn Lawrence
I don’t know where I learned about the Clergy Renewal Program at HWM, but when I read what it was about, it spoke to my very weary soul. I realized that in my social work career, in my roles in professional and grassroots communities, and in my life as an ordained minister, I have been in leadership, consultant, and teacher positions providing guidance and support to my peers and congregation. And the pandemic did not help at all. I was exhausted and dangerously tired.
All that I dreamed of the CCR program, came to fruition. I dreamed it would offer me a time of renewal and rest in a monastic setting. I visualized beautiful grounds which would delight and feed my soul. I dreamed it would give me brief periods of rest. I visualized peers whom I would connect with, learn from and grow. It would be a time for me to reconnect with God, my peers, myself and creation. The program would open me to new ways of accessing spiritual disciplines. Time away from ministry would help me let go, disrupt the patterns of overwhelmedness, work and busyness.
All of this came to be as I entered the CCR program. What I loved was that we were immersed fully into the various spiritual practices, most of which I now practice today, although falteringly. At the time I was looking forward to my sabbatical in 2024 and my experience at HWM with Cohort 4 (The Best Cohort!!! Smile) totally was the preparation I needed to do my time of Sabbatical well. It has been life giving to me.
My CCR Experience has helped me encapsulate spiritual practices into my daily living and sabbath keeping. It has helped me to experience rest, stillness, silence, statio, pausing on a daily basis. It has helped me to delight in God’s creation, to be creative and experience what makes my heart sing. Immersed in spiritual practices at HWM, has enabled me to cultivate rhythms of rest, creativity, movement , walking with two feet as a means of upholding my relationships with God, nature, others and myself, It has become foundational to my ministry and my ways of being and doing. My spiritual life has been enhanced. I am grateful.
In the CCR program, I felt loved and cared about. I felt surrounded by a “warm blanket” by our leaders (Nancy, Winton, Jennifer and Kathleen) and my new friends. The gentleness and grace of the Sisters at HWM, inspired me. In turn I have shared my experiences with my congregation and friends, and provided some practices for us to immerse ourselves in. I have also begun to read more about
Benedictine Spirituality. I struggled to come up with my rule and I smile as I remember Kathleen saying that it will emerge, which it did, in the middle of the night.
This past Sunday I preached about “Practicing Humility” and Spirit led me to reflect on St. Benedicts Rule of Humility. I am increasingly drawn to take a holy pause during my days (Statio), paying attention, noticing and receiving images as I walk and enjoy nature. I am more connected with my inner “monk” as I live out my creativity, feeling grounded amidst the busyness of ministry.
I thank you all at Holy Wisdom for the Opportunity to experience the CCR program. It is foundational to who I am and to the person I am becoming
With Gratitude,
Merlyn