By Grace Vosen

“Holy Leisure?”

These were the first words out of my mouth as I read the Summer Stewards program schedule. I wasn’t familiar with that item – and I was unsure if I should take it seriously. Was it a cute joke, or a solemn Benedictine tradition?

I soon learned that the sisters had chosen this phrase to help us see the benefits that leisure could offer. We could use this time for anything, and it didn’t have to refresh us spiritually. But sometimes it might. All we had to do was be open to whatever happened: walking, swimming, meditating, reading or resting.

The three of us in my cohort were open to all of these possibilities. While we came from different backgrounds and had different goals for the week, we shared a desire to grow. We wanted to live more intentionally and deepen our spirituality. Our paths had converged at Holy Wisdom. The community welcomed us with kindness and a sincere interest in our stories.

For the next week, we were immersed in monastery life. We attended prayer, ate meals with the sisters and other retreatants, and shared in chores. The fresh vegetables we harvested in the morning became the dinner we enjoyed in the evening. We helped with restoration efforts on the prairie and in the pines. Everyone had a part to play, and it seemed that everyone worked together well.

Similarly, we learned how the buildings work with the landscape to support a Benedictine way of life. The property seemed like a world in itself. It caused me to think about how I could continue using my talents to serve this community.

And indeed, our “holy leisure” time complemented the scheduled activities. I spent much of it sitting outside and gazing across Lake Mendota, and just as much napping in my room. Although it felt unproductive, the quiet let me process my thoughts in a way that wouldn’t have been possible if the whole day had been scheduled.

It was clear that my housemates also valued these times. Often, in the space between leisure and an activity, we would walk to or from Anna’s House in silence and let the beauty of the land speak to each of us.

Another time when we were encouraged to be open was during Centering Prayer, which was held in the mornings and evenings. We each chose a short word that represented our openness to what God might have to tell us. My word was “still”, as in quiet. I greatly appreciated the chance to be still along with other people who understood stillness.

It is in the stillness, in the moments of silence between psalms, and in the unscheduled times that some of the greatest revelations come our way. It was hard for me to quiet my mind, but not all of the thoughts that intruded were unwelcome. Some have transformed the way I view myself, my relationships, and my role in the world. I simply needed to be open to it.

Grace Vosen was part of the July 2022 Summer Stewards program. She is a naturalist and writer living in Spring Green. Read her blog at DriftlessGrace.com.

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How do you imagine one becomes a monk? Is it something you plan or something you discover? Do you have to be religious your whole life before joining a monastery?

Truth be told, there is no one answer. Our own sister’s community at Holy Wisdom Monastery have an array of unique stories that led them to their lives here in Middleton.

In this episode, we sit with Sister Denise West and listen to her journey from a non-secular home in Tennessee to her life in New York as a teacher and eventually, through her search for spirituality, becoming a sister at our monastery.

Sister Denise’ story is a beautiful example of the unexpected turns in life that can lead us to our place in the world. Listen in to this episode and tell us in the comments below: What are the unexpected parts of your journey that have led you to where you are today?

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I have been journeying into different lands from almost before I was born. My parents were both Russian Mennonite immigrants to Canada. As a family, we traveled to Ghana and Trinidad where my father taught school. In ways, I became a pilgrim, and for much of my adult life, I have lived and worked around the world. Always on the move. Always sensing the call into the “more of life.” I have now found my way into the stability and rootedness of monastic life.

I am not surprised. Perhaps it was inevitable that I should find myself in a place where I am always invited by Saint Benedict and Benedictine Women of Madison to ever begin again to live the ordinary life as the extraordinary gift that it is. What does surprise me is that I can bring with me my heritage–the times when I have plodded, hiked, skipped, swam, flown, delighted in and been frustrated by the journey.

True ecumenism embraces diverse faith traditions

I come with my relationship with God that has been nurtured by my Mennonite tradition and through the stretching experiences where I encountered people of different denominations, faiths and cultures.

Even though I come with all that has brought me this far, I am again invited to begin anew. I am invited to again discover what it is that really matters and to set aside those things that perhaps don’t matter as much as I thought they did. But don’t get me wrong, I am very much a beginner.

The other day, I was reading the reflections of a Mennonite volunteer in a Third World assignment as she grew familiar with a new culture. I had been thinking about my own experience in the monastery. It was feeling somewhat burdensome. What had been fun and exciting at the beginning was losing some of its appeal.

I feel embarrassed by my inability to figure everything out. Sometimes I even felt like an irritable and angry child. There is so much to learn and yet there is a part of me that says I’m tired of being a beginner again. This young volunteer’s reflections became a balm of comfort as I recalled the many times I had passed through similar periods of adjustment and learning.

Saint Benedict understood our impatience

I remembered the words I put on my screensaver during the first weeks I was a candidate. They are from the Prologue of the Rule of Benedict: “…don’t be daunted immediately by fear (and frustration)… It’s bound to be narrow at the outset… But as we progress in this way of life and in faith… our hearts will overflow with delight.”

Just hang in with the ordinary. I can live with that. I’ve been there before. And remember–it’s a new beginning.

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Being a Benedictine Sojourner during this season comes with its own kind of hopefulness and expectation. As you read this, I will have just completed my first three months of the Sojourner experience. Based on my arrangement with the Sisters, mid-December could have been the end of my time, but we have agreed that I will continue on and complete the full term of six months. I’m staying because I am finding the experience meaningful, and because my heart tells me that whatever God has planned in this place and at this time, it has not finished developing.

These past weeks have been so full of changes and adapting to new relationships and routines, that in many ways it feels like I’m just now starting to catch on to the rhythms of monastic life. I’m finally starting to settle in, feeling less like a guest and more like a part of the community. And these are still just the early stages of the formative process that prepares individuals for monastic living. Becoming fully prepared to live and thrive in Benedictine community takes time, prayer, patience, guidance and discernment. It also requires individuals to be aware and to let go of old habits, preferences, diversions and distractions in order to really listen for God. Monastics must embrace humility and simplicity, and they must want to practice self-discipline.

As I begin Day Two of Week 13, I can’t say for certain what is in store for me in the next trimester of Sojourning, but I do know that changes are occurring, and new facets of understanding and capability are taking shape within me and around me. The daily routine of centering prayer and liturgy of the hours has brought me a sense of groundedness and a quiet assurance that I am growing closer to God each day. Being in community has given me a growing awareness of the relationship between independence and isolation. Voluntarily living on a fraction of the budget I once allotted for my personal expenses is helping me separate my wants from my needs. And each day I am invited to consider that freedom may be less about having what I desire than it is about desiring only what God has provided.

This isn’t always easy or comfortable. Saying yes to God’s Spirit means risking the status quo and painful grieving for a way of life that is being shed and left behind. But, I think that is also where hope and expectation are most essential and visible. My faith tells me that by participating in the transitions and transformations of the Sojourner experience, something new and wonderful has a chance to be born.

Advent and Christmas blessings to all, and a very happy New Year!

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The community of sisters at Holy Wisdom Monastery has certainly changed over time in response to engagement with people of varied backgrounds. Regular visits from the monks of Taizé in the mid-sixties, meetings with clergy members of different denominations, and conversations with members of Madison Interfaith Dialog—all of these experiences prepared the sisters for their encuentro with Lutheran missionaries and their families in the 1970s. It was living, praying, and working side by side with people of different backgrounds that deeply changed Sisters Mary David Walgenbach and Joanne Kollasch and inspired them to ultimately open their Catholic community to women of any Christian denomination. This paved the way for the community to receive Sister Lynne and other Protestants like me.

Sister Paz and I experienced desencuentro—clashes—during our time as Sojourners as we discovered how utterly differently we see and engage with the world. I have since discovered what it means to experience the United States as an immigrant and to experience American culture as a person of color and a Mexican woman. This was not easy to hear. At first I listened, (or rather, didn’t listen) with my defenses up. But with the help of numerous blog posts, online articles, and podcasts by black and brown people, my hard shell softened enough to be able to hear “with the ear of my heart” (Rule of Benedict), and it changed me. It was only over time that we began to truly listen to one another’s experiences and see the world as the other sees it.

Our community has become interested in the ways we all see and experience the world differently based on our upbringing and our culture. At lunch some weeks ago, Rev. Al Heggen happened to mention a book his church group had read called, Trouble I’ve Seen: Changing the Way the Church Views Racism by theologian and activist Drew G.I. Hart. We meet every other week to discuss a chapter, reflecting on what struck us as new, significant or challenging. In one section, Hart names the problem and presents hope for transformation:

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John Klassen, OSB (left) and Michaela Hedican, OSB, presenters at the 2016 Monastic Institute.

Last week over 100 monks, sisters, nuns, oblates and students of theology attended the 2016 Monastic Institute hosted by Saint John’s School of Theology and Seminary in Collegeville, MN. Reflecting on the theme of Benedictine monastic profession in our time, Abbot John Klassen of Saint John’s Abbey and Prioress Michaela Hedican of Saint Benedict’s Monastery, offered rich wisdom and scholarship on the three central promises of Benedictine life: stability, obedience and conversatio morum.

Attendees gathered for presentations and conversations

As our conversations deepened, I slowly came to know the people and stories in the room.  Among those gathered were monks and oblates, Roman Catholics, Lutherans and Episcopalians, missionary and contemplative Benedictines, cloistered and active, habited and not-habited, old and young, Vietnamese, Filipino, Hispanic. As a newcomer myself, it was deeply encouraging to see and hear the ways that Benedictine life provided for and even encouraged differences.

Empty meeting room behind baptismal font setting

As the Institute drew to a close, the fatal shootings of Alton Sterling in Baton Rouge and Philando Castile in Minneapolis dominated the news. The cry for justice, for the violence and bloodshed to cease and for every person—no matter their color—to feel safe and respected in this country, rang out from protestors and permeated our prayers. The wound of racism is not just a matter for the world; it is a matter for the monastery and for every praying community. We are not immune; we too need healing.

As a woman of color, an Indian-American raised by immigrant parents, and a newly professed sister, the events of these recent days begs a question: What does my monastic profession call me to in this time, in this place?  I wish I had an easy answer.

What I have come to see is:

• My promise of stability binds me to relationships in a country convulsed by pain, divided by the sin of racism.
• My promise of obedience calls me to listen unwaveringly, to respond to violence with my own cry for healing and help.
• My promise of conversatio morum invites me to change, openness, faith—even in the face of systemic racism.

This is not easy. But I find hope in the ways my own ecumenical Benedictine community has responded to diversity. By welcoming the Spirit in one another, we commit ourselves to finding ways to grow daily into a diverse human family. It is often painful personal work, but it is what I believe my monastic profession demands of me today, in this time and in this place.

(photos  from Saint John’s School of Theology and Seminary)

________________________

Read other blog posts from Sister Rosy in her series, Letters home.

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Sister Joanne: Mary Gordon, the author, comes to Holy Wisdom Monastery when she travels to Madison.  On a recent visit she presented the sisters with an autographed copy of her latest book, Reading Jesus.  It was my choice for Lent; I gained new insights into Jesus’ life and teaching.  Half-way through my reading the sisters visited a seriously ill friend.  When I recommended we loan the book to this woman the sisters agreed.  Although I’ve not completed it, the book now has new meaning for me and will be all the more precious when it returns.   

Sister Lynne:   This year I am reading Things Hidden: Scripture as Spirituality by Richard Rohr. Rohr lifts up three symbols running throughout the biblical text that serve as indicators of the divine union God offers us. First, there is the symbol of water signifying “God’s constant and gracious invitation to union, God flowing out to us.” The second signpost on our journey to God is blood symbolizing “the transformative experience, the dying before you die that so many religions talk about.” The third symbol is bread: “fullness and satisfaction in God.” Rohr invites us to read the Bible looking for these code words as a way of seeing God’s gracious invitation to share the divine life.

Perhaps you too will become aware of how these symbols arise in your own Lenten journey. 

What are you reading for Lent?  We invite you to share your response with others by commenting on this blog post.

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How am I attending to my physical self? Am I getting enough exercise, eating balanced meals? How am I attending to my senses? As a way of attending to my senses this spring, I decided to take a drawing fundamentals class. An artist told me some years ago that drawing is about seeing. I want to learn to see God in the beauty around me. Learning how to draw is helping me to see. In the first class as we were practicing shading, the instructor said, “You need to learn to see the light.” Now there is an appropriate metaphor for the spiritual journey! As I practice shading simple forms, I am learning to notice light that I hadn’t seen before. This also awakens my spiritual senses to be attentive to ways that God shines around me.

How am I attending to my intellectual life? Benedict asks that each monk read a book during Lent as a way of adding some additional study to one’s life. In April’s Living in Community newsletter, a couple of us sisters will share something that we are reading currently.

How am I attending to my prayer life? Has it become routine for me? How is God calling me into a deeper experience of the divine presence? My image of God has been changing over the course of the past several years. This is sometimes uncomfortable and even distressing as my familiar ways of relating to God don’t “work” anymore. Change is never easy, but God wants to draw us deeper into Mystery. Can we let go of the familiar and move into the unknown?

How am I attending to the imagination? Poetry, photography, art or music can awaken our imagination and attune us to the power of symbol. Doing lectio divina with Scripture can also help nurture this aspect of our being.

Of course, these practices are not just for Lent but are for everyday of our lives as we seek to live our baptismal commitment as Christians.

What practices help you to learn everyday of your life? Please share your thoughts with us below.

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Sister Lynne in the apple orchard at Holy Wisdom Monastery (circa 1998)

My work as director of membership and monastic formation has prompted me to reflect on my own formation lately. Formation is different for each woman who comes to community, yet the process is similar. Prayer, common work and dialogue, study, leisure and the practices of hospitality, listening, obedience and humility invite a woman into the on-going conversion at the heart of monastic life. Some stories from my own early years in community may shed light on the process of Benedictine formation.

An ordinary event soon after I moved to the monastery revealed a portion of God’s agenda for my formation. One afternoon I had the task of picking apples. Sr. Joanne and I chose the three best wooden baskets we had for me to use. I set the baskets in the driveway and went into the house to get my sunglasses. When I returned, I got in the car and backed out of the garage – right over all three baskets, demolishing them into splinters. I couldn’t help but laugh at my own mindlessness. There was nothing else to do but tell Joanne what I had done. Later I realized this was an occasion to practice the fifth step of humility. “We do not conceal from the abbot or prioress any sinful thoughts entering our hearts or any wrongs committed in secret, but rather confess them humbly.” (RB 7:44) I have had many subsequent occasions to practice this step of humility.

I entered the novitiate a littler humbler but still largely ignorant of what the process of formation would mean for me. Nevertheless I had fallen in love with God, the sisters and this way of life through regular participation in the Liturgy of Hours, the Sunday Eucharist, our common work, common meals, study and leisure time together. I was eager to learn and grow. I had opportunities to grow every day.

As I moved deeper into community life I saw myself re-enacting the role of the oldest child. That sparked a re-examination and desire to heal family of origin dynamics in my life. When I tried too hard to “fix” myself, Ephesians 2:8 spoke to me: “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.”

In a video we made in 2000, I declared “I came to community because I wanted to grow, but I didn’t know how much I would grow!” My sisters laughed.

My growth continued throughout the four years of my temporary profession. I earned a Masters’ degree in monastic studies from St. John’s School of Theology · Seminary in Collegeville, Minnesota.

As one who doesn’t like conflict, I learned in community that arguments were not the end of the world if one could give and receive forgiveness. Benedict teaches us to pray the Prayer of Jesus everyday to remind ourselves of the need for reconciliation. A phrase from the Benedictus that we pray every day in Morning Prayer took on new meaning: “… ready the way for our God by teaching them salvation through forgiveness of their sins.”

Participating in the community’s practice of hospitality expanded my heart to receive others and their gifts as blessings from God. Through working in the garden, the prairie and orchards, I came to regard the monastery grounds as an integral part of our community. The trees have taught me about stability and perseverance. Lost Lake shows a peace that endures beneath any disturbance on the surface.

In October 2004, I made my final profession as a member of Benedictine Women of Madison. Benedict reminds us that we are always beginners in the Christian life, so formation is on-going. God continues to call each of us to deeper knowledge of God and ourselves and to service within and beyond the community.

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Sister Asella Kim (l) working with Mary David Walgenbach, OSB, in the sisters' vegetable garden.

In June 2009, Sister Asella Kim, a Missionary Benedictine from Seoul, Korea, came to live with the sisters at Holy Wisdom Monastery. She was here on a year’s sabbatical after serving a Korean and American parish in New Jersey for six years. Asella has known us since 1994 when she spent four years here learning English and continuing her education.

Because Sister Asella is a kindred spirit we count her as part of our community. She especially enjoyed walking in the prairie and working in the garden. She even requested a three-month extension of her sabbatical so she could help bring in the produce this summer. Asella spent several hours each day planting, weeding, harvesting or processing the vegetables as they come in. We are grateful for her quiet and supportive Benedictine presence and her work.

We thank Sister Asella, her prioress and community, and we sent our heartfelt blessings with her as she returned to Seoul on September 28.

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