Submitted by Kathleen Owens (she/her), Manager of Clergy Programming and Communications for the Center for Clergy Renewal at Holy Wisdom Monastery.

James Rissler tried to prepare for his first Contemplative Renewal Immersion, and first visit to Holy Wisdom Monastery, by reading the Rule of Benedict. As a Mennonite Pastor from Georgia, he was not quite sure what to expect. He had some uncertainty about where he was heading in his vocation and a desire to explore more contemplative practices. He was concerned that St. Benedict seems to discourage humor and laughter. He wondered, “What kind of place will this be?”

On the first day, James was walking by the gardens and heard another pastor in his cohort, Amy, laughing loudly. He told Amy how much her joy put him at ease after reading Benedict’s discouragement of laughter. Amy shared her concerns over the upcoming 24 hours of silence, a practice that is comfortable for James.  This exchange confirmed for him the strength of being together in a cohort. “I’ve always been someone who appreciates processing things in relationships, so coming to Holy Wisdom and engaging in contemplative practices with other clergy from across the country and different traditions was attractive.” The diversity of the group and the way each of their gifts supported one another deepened his understanding of how important it is to be present for others, not just as a pastor, but as a person.

When it was time to write a Rule of Life in the Winter Immersion, James wrote a rule that reflected his desire to keep working not on specific practices, but on his presence. “My rule doesn’t commit me to any practices. It commits me to a kind of presence in the world. I’m clearer on a sense that who I am as a leader and a pastor is a person who tries to show up with a particular kind of presence to remain grounded in God’s love and sharing that love with those with whom I engage.”

James’ rule has a larger form, but it is the simple version that he references regularly: “I try to live with love, joy and presence.” Over five years have passed since James’ wrote this rule and shared it with his cohort and the sisters. James reflects, “Immediately and over the last five years, it facilitated, it deepened, it pointed me on a path that I’ve continued to walk…. The kind of person I am now, as a leader, was planted at Holy Wisdom and continues to grow.”

This ongoing growth comes through experiences outside of Holy Wisdom Monastery and through his monthly small group online gatherings with four members of his cohort, regular reunions with his full cohort and ongoing connection to the wider community of communities. “There is a kind of community that Holy Wisdom is as a whole, of which the Center for Clergy Renewal is an important part. But it’s a mutually beneficial relationship. I think neither would be what it is without the other. The space, the community, feels like it has a certain charism.”

Thank you for being part of the nurturing environment that can help James and other pastors find grounding in how they are being called to show up in the world.

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Submitted by Kathleen Owens (she/her), Manager of Clergy Programming and Communications for the Center for Clergy Renewal at Holy Wisdom Monastery.

“I don’t know if burned out is the right word,” reflects Julane Nease when recalling what led her to apply to Contemplative Renewal Immersions, “but I was feeling the stress of my call. There’d been a lot of difficulties that had happened within the life of the people in the congregation.” When she arrived for her first immersion in July 2021, she realized she was not alone. “I remember at that first session being struck at how emotional it was, several people, and I think probably me, were crying when we were talking about what had been going on and all the stress points in our lives and ministries.”

Julane felt the welcome and embrace of the cohort community in the group sessions. In Centering Prayer, she found a welcome and embrace from Christ. “I remember sitting in the oratory sinking into Centering Prayer and saying to myself, ‘OK, Jesus, here I am.’ And then I saw Jesus’ eyes right in front of me. I heard him say, ‘I’m here too.’”

By the end of the first immersion, Julane knew the contemplative way of praying and understanding God was needed in her life. The encouragement to look inward helped her to see the need to care for her own spiritual health. She is an extrovert and generally tends to be outward facing in her life. Paying attention to the internal was amazing, but hard. She entered the second immersion tender and ready for care. “It was okay because it was really a soft place to land. I knew that if all I could do was cry that was okay and people would be there to support me. I’ll always be tremendously grateful for that space.”

Beyond the two immersions, it is Julane’s ongoing small group that has provided a deep ongoing connection. “They are people that will show up for me whenever I need them, and they know that I will do that for them too.” It is also in her small group where Julane continues to develop her understanding of what it means to be a contemplative person and pastor. “We talk about it in our small group because we all feel we are walking contemplatives in this world. Thinking of myself that way reminds me to pause and be quiet, because how else am I going to hear God if things are so loud? Especially in this season in our country, everything is so loud. If I can remember to take five minutes of Centering Prayer, it is enough to refocus. Remember my breath. That’s been a big change.”

In her effort to be a walking contemplative in the world, Julane incorporates aspects of contemplative practice into worship. Worship now starts with silence, a form of Statio that Julane sees as particularly helpful for bringing the community together when some are online and others are in person. Reading Psalms aloud together has also shifted. “I remember Sister Lynne talking to us about how the sisters read out loud together. It’s about listening to each other. It’s not just about saying the words. I always try to let my voice be one voice among others. Sometimes I have the sense I’m going with the waves of the way the people are reading and speaking.” Thank you for being part of the community that supports the walking contemplatives in our loud world. The deep roots Julane developed through the Contemplative Renewal Immersions are continuing to feed Julane and her congregation, bringing forth new fruit as they continue to walk together through challenging times.

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Submitted by Kathleen Owens (she/her), Manager of Clergy Programming and Communications for the Center for Clergy Renewal at Holy Wisdom Monastery

Christy Suffecool was one of the first pastors to come for a Deep Breath retreat when the ministry began in the fall of 2023. Her first Deep Breath retreat in November 2023, led to another in November 2024, and another in November 2025. Thinking back to when she heard about the Center for Clergy Renewal at Holy Wisdom Monastery in 2023, Christy remembers, “… I was fried. I did what I thought was self-care, but it really wasn’t taking care of me the way I needed to. I started the process of looking for a place to retreat to, but I was running into a lot of places that would not accept women clergy, or if they did, they wouldn’t acknowledge that I was a pastor. I needed a place where I was going to be supported and encouraged.”

Christy realized quickly that the community at Holy Wisdom Monastery is one where she would be welcomed. “But I felt completely clueless. I had no idea what it would look like to ‘do renewal.’” She took the framework and resources provided as part of Deep Breath retreats and leaned into that. The schedule centers on joining the sisters for prayer three times a day which Christy remembers being a struggle at first, “I was reluctant, I remember the first few times sitting there, not knowing what to do. In centering prayer I could not get my brain to calm down. I remember holding the prayer beads thinking,  ‘Okay, at least I can sit here and sit still and hold something even if my brain isn’t still.’ But by the end of that week, I realized I had discovered peace. So, I spent the next year trying to build a rhythm in my life and trying to continue to pursue peace, not realizing it wasn’t something I could pursue. I had to learn to live into it.”

“The second year when I came, it was much more about getting back into the rhythm and resetting.” As Christy continued to incorporate the rhythm of prayer she learned at Holy Wisdom Monastery after her second Deep Breath, she also moved to a new appointment as Senior Pastor at New Leaf United Methodist Church in Conneaut, Ohio. In her new parsonage, Christy set up a prayer room. “I’ve started practices of daily prayer time. I don’t do it every day, but I know how to care for myself better than I used to. I’ve gotten feedback that I’m a much more effective pastor because of it.” Her children have also noticed the changes. “The first time I came back from Holy Wisdom, both of my daughters said, ‘You are a different mom. This was good for you, and you needed it.”

Christy was back for her third Deep Breath in November of 2025. She has already told her new congregation that this is something she needs to do every year. “This was not anything I was ever expecting when I came here. Which is funny to say because I didn’t know what to expect. But I did not anticipate the impact it would have, or that this would become my thing that I want to do every year. Some people plan beach vacations every year. I plan my getaway to the monastery to go be with God for a week and escape the rest of the world. All the problems and all the challenges will still be there when I go back, but I’ve had a chance to refresh and renew. I get time to sit and be with God, to hike, and I do the things that fill my soul. I get to be around the sisters and go through the rhythms and have the great food.”

Christy has found a rhythm of renewal through the pattern of daily prayer and annual Deep Breath retreats that is sustaining her ministry and helping her to grow in a new appointment. “Holy Wisdom Monastery was the catalyst to take me to the next stage in ministry. [I learned] it had to be me healing and taking care of myself first so that I could be utilized, and Deep Breath created that space for me to do that.” This rhythm is helping her to scatter seeds in Ohio as she begins to look at how her congregation can use their land as part of their ministry. Another piece she is learning from time at Holy Wisdom Monastery that she hopes to grow in years to come. Thank you for being part of the community that holds the space and renewing rhythms that sustain Christy in her ministry.

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Submitted by Kathleen Owens (she/her), Manager of Clergy Programming and Communications for the Center for Clergy Renewal at Holy Wisdom Monastery

James Salimes was struggling with disillusionment when he heard about the Contemplative Renewal Immersions at Holy Wisdom Monastery. As part of his disillusionment, he left ministry as a non-denominational pastor and started serving as a chaplain. James entered the immersions hopeful the experience would help him “work through my disillusion, but with an open mind to see where it would lead me.” As a part of the fourth cohort of Contemplative Renewal Immersions, he found a community of pastors from a variety of traditions. “It was a different experience for me to be with a group of pastors like that. Different from my own background. Not the group I’d normally hang out with.”

On the opening night of their first immersion, everyone was invited to take a rock and name something that they wanted to set down or let go of in their time at Holy Wisdom Monastery. James reflects, “I remember taking my rock and letting go of fear. That was a great way to start.” Another key moment from his second immersion was participating in a Clearness Triad, a practice built on the Quaker tradition of Clearness Committees. “It was something I longed to do but didn’t know I was longing for. It was like [being with] an especially good friend who will sit and listen. But those relationships are few and far between.  When we sat down and [I realized] there was a name for this, and there is a way to practice this, and it could be a part of everyday conversation…that was a big moment for me.”

In the spring after the second immersion, James found himself using these skills in his work as a chaplain. He remembers a particular conversation that spring, sitting with a grieving woman who had a lot of questions: “All these answers were coming to mind from college and the ministry I was a part of for so long. I was able to let that go and let her explore and listen to her without having answers or correcting her. I allowed the Holy Spirit to take the lead in our conversation. Since then, it’s helped me when I go to speak with people. I’m not the answer guy.”

The Contemplative Renewal Immersions helped James to see the work of the Holy Spirit in others and in himself. He came to “understand my own belovedness.” Awareness of his own belovedness opened James to an awareness of Christ’s presence in others. “If Christ is present than I can learn something from someone else no matter where they are from. I can see where God is at work. That is something I am trying to be more aware of, aware of how the Holy Spirit is working in the person next to me or whomever I meet that day. I keep calling myself back to that awareness, because it is easy for me to slip out of that awareness.”

Through the community of the Contemplative Renewal Immersions, James was able to strengthen the deep roots of his faith in Christ’s love and the leadership of the Holy Spirit. From strength of these roots, he is able to bring God’s love into the daily interactions of his ministry. Thank you for your support!

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Submitted by Kathleen Owens (she/her), Manager of Clergy Programming and Communications for the Center for Clergy Renewal at Holy Wisdom Monastery

Stef Coleman was six months into a new call in the city of Chicago when a colleague who had come to Holy Wisdom Monastery for a Deep Breath, suggested checking out what is available through the Center for Clergy Renewal. Stef remembers feeling like “I was always being poured out” when she found Contemplative Renewal Immersions on the website. The idea of being part of a cohort of pastors in similar life positions or ministry contexts was appealing. “I was hoping for rest and renewal, but also to hear from God in a way that felt hard to access in the center of a ministry context where I feel very isolated.”

During the Immersions, she found this longed for community and support through the other pastors and in the rhythm of prayer with the sisters. “Showing up, doing silence, was filling in a way that I didn’t expect. Being together with other people praying the psalms out loud in a service I didn’t lead was part of that.”

Receiving this spiritual care gave her the grounding she needed to realize she was carrying a lot of anger.  In a conversation with one of the spiritual guides, she was able to acknowledge her anger as a part of being human. “Instead of rejecting it or being afraid of it. It felt good to know God can use it, too. I came out feeling more grounded emotionally and spiritually and able to utilize my anger in a season that has felt very tumultuous.”

Stef notices this change in her ministry. “I feel a lot more confident. I feel a lot more grounded. I’ve been able to bring in different elements to my ministry without being as afraid as I might have been before.” These changes include sharing different images of God and worship practices that Stef encountered through the immersions. “I implemented some changes in our worship service that I think have been really fruitful, talking through different ways of doing ministry, trying to uphold those in my congregation who are older.”

Stef continued, “It’s also given me a lot more grounding for the social justice work that’s really close to my heart and being more unafraid to share what it could look like in other people’s lives as well. Coming from a more evangelical background and upbringing, social justice is not emphasized. Being able to separate that upbringing from who I feel God is and God’s priorities has helped me share more openly why my husband, Chris, and I are making decisions about being a foster family or partnering with a local organization to house refugees.” This call in her life is “just part of who our family is.”

Being grounded in her own understanding of who God is and God’s call in her life also awakened Stef’s creativity. “I’m a writer, and before the Immersion program, I had gone through a year and half dry spell of not writing anything new. At the second immersion, I felt a loosening of the shameful feeling from my Evangelical past which caused me to bifurcate my soul into being either a pastor or artist. I was able to let go of the shame and live into both parts of myself.” Since her Immersion last January, she has returned to writing and completed a draft of a novel as well as taken a class on mosaics to explore a new art form.

Your support of the Center for Clergy Renewal allows pastors like Stef to find a place to be grounded in God’s love, grow in community and scatter seeds of spiritual renewal, justice and artistic beauty for a flourishing world. Thank you for all you do!

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